What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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