guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
