watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
