At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
