every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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