Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
