I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
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Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
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Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Im part way to drunk.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize