Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
