It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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