Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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