i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
