You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
