I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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