we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
