It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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