i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It was confusing and full of hummus
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
