good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
