My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
