forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
