Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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