hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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