I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize