I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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