I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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