Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
