She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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