it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
