I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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