so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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