I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
