if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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