Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
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Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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