i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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