Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
