sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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