when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
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