I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
