I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
