Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You need Xanax blowdarts
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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