So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
