And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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