We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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