I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
