Im at strip club and am horny
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
