If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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