He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
