I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
