"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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