i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
