dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I want to be your penis for a week.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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