I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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