i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
