apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You need Xanax blowdarts
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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