Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
