i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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