my being single is dangerous.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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